Like the seasons, the school year follows cyclical and predictable patterns. Just as I know that this time of year brings brilliantly colored falling leaves, crisp air, bright blue skies, and an inevitable head cold, I also know that this is the time in the school year where students may begin slipping from their routines, forgetting their homework, and finding their work more challenging. These changes are a natural consequence of teachers gradually releasing the responsibility of learning over to their students. Responsibility is an essential life skill that children need to learn in and out of school. Not only will responsibility be essential for your child to be a productive and capable adult, it also gives them a sense of worth and value in their current everyday life. Responsibilities increase children’s sense of belonging and significance because when we give children responsibilities, we are really saying to them “You are a valued member of our community with an important role and we trust you to do your part.”
Lower School girls have many opportunities throughout the day to develop the many facets of responsibility. Organizational responsibilities include turning in school work, unpacking, remembering to bring the correct materials to their different classes, packing up their book bag, and remembering their coat or sweater. Community responsibilities are important because they show students that their actions have consequences beyond themselves. Students have assigned jobs in the classroom, pick up after themselves at snack, get quiet when the teacher signals for attention and make sure that their dishes are put away and their tables are cleaned up at the end of lunch. Lastly, students are faced with moral responsibilities each day. Through discussions, role-playing, class meetings, and guidance class, students learn how to navigate these challenging situations and stand up for what they believe in. Each type of responsibility comes with its own skill set and is challenging to different degrees for each child; a child with high executive functioning skills will find organizational responsibilities easy but may find it difficult to stand up for a friend who is being teased. We work with each student to develop strategies that will help them develop the areas of responsibility that come less naturally to them.
One of my favorite excuses I hear from students when they have not completed their homework or they have forgotten their completed homework at home is “My parents didn’t put it in my backpack” (it is not only the dog they throw under the bus!). This statement always leads to a productive conversation about where the ultimate responsibility with school work lies. Although homework is the responsibility of the student, you can help your child by establishing routines that can help her to be successful. Routines may involve where your daughter completes her homework, when she does her work (Does she need a break and a snack? How do extracurricular activities affect homework time?), how she uses her planner to ensure she has completed all of her assignments, where she places her completed work and items that she will need for the next day, and who will she check-in with when her homework is complete? Make sure to show your daughter that she is a vital member of your family by giving her the opportunity to contribute to the daily household chores. Tasks such as setting the table, washing dishes, cleaning her room, and folding laundry will help your child to know that she has a significant role as a member of your family. Lastly, we know that responsibilities are often not fun. It is okay for your child to acknowledge this – it is reality. Engage your child in conversations about responsibility: why we need to take on responsibilities, the values inherent in being responsible, and strategies you use to tackle mundane, but necessary tasks. Here is a link to an article that I found interesting as I was investigating developing responsibility in children.
Take care,
Christy Diefenderfer
Assistant Lower School Director