There is a great irony in the truism that our children live lives that run the risk of being saturated by popular media in a digital world. We are the most protective generation of parents, most of whom shield our children from the horrors of the nightly news. Nonetheless, because of their increased access to electronic devices, (smartphones, iPads, Kindles, smart televisions, and now, watches!), it is increasingly difficult to insulate our children from the torrent of social media apps, children's television shows, YouTube videos, celebrity gossip, and pop music that seem to be growing daily. It is, in short, increasingly difficult to be a good digital parent.
Among the many names for the generation to which our children belong, the one that resonates with me most deeply is the eyegeneration, so drawn are they to the persuasive power of visual images. I also like this term insofar as it is also a homonym for I, as in "selfies," Facebook, Instagram, and the confessional culture of visual self-promotion and public commentary that these platforms promote.
Despair not, however, because all is not lost. I have found children today to be increasingly nuanced in their understanding of popular culture, their use of technology, and the pressures of advertising. I regularly hear our Lower School students demonstrate wisdom and independent thinking well beyond their tender years as they discuss complex issues such as the portrayal of women in the media and pop songs. Holton girls have strong opinions about the things they value, and they value substance and meaning over style. Even as they may be humming the latest pop song, (which is probably incredibly infectious, but also highly inappropriate!), they are capable of distinguishing between what they hear or see and what they believe.
Parents play an intrinsic role in helping their daughters develop a healthy understanding of the intersection of technology and popular culture. Children depend on us to be very clear about the consumption of popular media, what they listen to or watch, and the healthy use of technology. This is why we have the responsibility to stay informed, and take the time to talk about these topics with our children. I strongly recommend that you set aside some time to familiarize yourself with the Common Sense Media website which is an invaluable resource to parents as they strive to stay informed on digital issues. If you are looking for more information on what is appropriate for your daughter to watch or listen to, or when she might get her first cell phone, or how she might be using the internet, this is the place to go.
More often than not, being a good digital parent involves being comfortable with saying "no" to your child, or at least "not yet." It means having a very clear sense of how your responsibility to keep them safe trumps their right to absolute privacy. And it also means finding common ground with your children, listening to popular music with them, watching their movies and shows, and providing the perspective that they depend on us to provide and which informs their own ability to understand their complex and changing world.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Patrick Bane Lower School Director
