Reunion

I spent a good part of last weekend attending my 35^th college reunion. Reflecting on this experience, I've asked myself why people go to reunions, a question that increased in relevance when I realized that I hadn't been back (for a reunion, anyway) since my tenth. I went to Princeton where going to Reunions (as the weekend is called) at least every five years is expected; indeed, no small number of alumni/ae go back every year. Although I had good reasons – living in CA, having to lead a school graduation on the same weekend – I'm surprised I've returned so infrequently. Wanting to see friends and acquaintances and maybe nostalgia seem like good reasons. More simply, though, Reunions is one long, enormous, supremely spirited, fun party, not to mention a monumental spectacle. That might be incentive enough.

If you know anything about Princeton, you know that they do reunions on a scale and with unmatched fervor. All told, when spouses and children are counted with actual graduates, the Alumni Association calculates that approximately 25,000 people descend on the Princeton campus Reunions Weekend. Out of a class which graduated a few more than 1000, over 400 of my classmates came back last weekend, and the 35^th doesn't count as a big reunion like the 25^th. It's considered de rigeur to wear orange and black, preferably paraphernalia related to your class. You receive different costume items with every reunion, so by the 35^th, most people, if they've been at all conscientious in their attendance, have accumulated a fair sized collection. This year, we received small athletic bags containing three different styles of shirt (two in shades of orange) all with our class logo – a tiger holding a crown in one hand and an umbrella in the other dancing over the phrase "'81 Reigns," a baseball cap with the logo on the front, an orange and white umbrella with, you guessed it, the logo, and finally, our new beer jacket: orange, black and white, with the logo emblazoned on the back and a "P" appliqued on the front. The materials for the weekend included helpful directions about what to wear when. For example, for Campus Casual Friday, they recommended the class t-shirt and baseball cap. The new beer jacket was required attire for the class dinner on Saturday night.

Some explanation about the logo: the June morning we graduated in 1981, the white chairs lined up in neat rows in front of historic Nassau Hall, even though it was no longer raining, the administration deemed too wet to allow for the traditional beautiful outdoor ceremony. (I certainly never dreamt that damp morning that making similar tough decisions lay in my future.) Much to our disappointment, we graduated in Jadwin Gym. Although I don't remember this (perhaps because I missed a lot of reunions), it rained on at least several of our reunions after that. Hence, the class committee created the double entendre of '81 Reigns (or rains) with the tiger holding a crown and an umbrella. Apparently, that did the trick because it hasn't rained on our reunion since.

The most important item in our reunion wardrobes, however, we brought with us: our class jackets. At your 25^th Reunion, you get your class jacket, a blazer/sport coat-shaped formal garment designed by a class committee. You wear your class jacket at every Reunions for the rest of your life or until your 50^th when the class can opt to design a new one. Orange and very often black define the foundation colors, but after that only imagination limits the design. Ours has a dark cream background with vertical stripes of orange and black outlined "81's" and a lining printed with every classmate's name. I really like the lining; the jacket itself could only be considered marginally attractive (and that would be a stretch) at Princeton Reunions. Many classes choose to have tigers roaming across their jackets while others elect orange and black checks, stripes or plaids. From an aesthetic perspective, orange and black acts as a limiting factor. Though these jackets have longer lives than your average bridesmaid's dress, they are equally useless out of context. In truth, ugly describes the majority. Ugly or not, usually classes offer other items of clothing such as dresses or vests made of the same material so spouses don't have to feel left out.

These jackets are important for two reasons: first, they identify your class; second you wear them in "The One & Only P-rade." While dinners, like ours on Saturday night at the Boathouse on the shores of Lake Carnegie; spectacular fireworks; kegs on tap all weekend 24/7; and dancing to different bands every night at every reunion site are great fun, the P-rade stands out as the jewel in the crown of the weekend. I do have to brag that Kool & the Gang played at our tent on Saturday night. We had the hottest party on campus and I can promise I won't soon forget dancing to "Celebration" played live by them. But I digress. The P-rade is both nothing and everything more than simply a parade. It starts with the 25^th Reunion Class sporting their new jackets, followed by the Old Guard and then every class in descending order walks through the campus, with marching bands occasionally interspersed. Spectators and classes waiting to march line the parade route doing locomotive cheers for classes as they pass. In this way, the younger you are, the more you observe and cheer for classes older than you. The temperature was well into the 90's, but the heat and polyester/wool jackets did nothing to dampen spirits. There's something about wearing ridiculous clothes that you wouldn't be caught dead in beyond the town limits of Princeton, strolling through the beautiful campus heralded by your fellow alumni/ae that breeds an enormous sense of community. The P-rade in its entirety takes three hours and twenty minutes, an entire afternoon fully immersed in a uniquely Princeton experience.

While the weekend includes plenty of drinking, dancing and walking, it also includes plenty of talking. In my experience, part of the fun of reunions in general is the chance to catch up with old friends, but also to appreciate unanticipated ways in which people have changed. Some of my most interesting conversations were with a classmate who was part of my wider circle, but not a close friend, who recently made a successful run for a seat on the Cambridge, MA City Council. It was fascinating to hear her describe campaigning, to talk about why she did it and what she hopes to accomplish. She's smart, articulate, and thoughtful, but also determined. Cambridge is lucky to have a Council Member of her quality and I'm proud of her for extending herself to serve her community. I also found much food for thought from a dear friend, now living in his hometown of Lexington, KY whose mayor asked him to help determine what to do about the city's statues of Confederate soldiers. After carefully reviewing the process Princeton used regarding a possible name change for the Woodrow Wilson School, my friend recommended a similar approach for the Confederate memorials. During a lunch, we had an interesting conversation about the new Coalition college application and then a helpful one with another friend's wife who serves on the Board of the Agnes Irwin School (a girls school in Philadelphia) about developing transgender policies. I thoroughly enjoyed catching up with another friend who is just finishing his first year as a head of school. He has some interesting challenges, but professes to liking his new role even more than he expected. I also started a number of conversations that got sidetracked and frustratingly never finished. I very much wanted to learn more about a conference related to external affairs for schools and colleges that a friend who lives in New Zealand invited me to on the spot. I also wanted to know why she'd given up her veterinarian practice. Another friend is investing in educational technology, but I never found out more than that. I've vowed to email all these people and rebuild connections that years of neglect have attenuated. And maybe I'll get a reason to go to New Zealand.

We're all happier and stronger when we're part of communities and maybe that's what going to Reunions is really all about. It's a chance to renew and strengthen ties with and within a community that offers lifelong opportunities for friendship and intellectual stimulation, in our case founded on a shared belief that dressing up in an ugly orange and black get-up constitutes perfectly normal behavior. Go Tigers!

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